Learning to Let Go
by ThereIsBeautyintheBreakdown
Summary: Edward grew up being tossed from one abusive home to another. Even though he tries to embrace his adopted family, he struggles with his scars and memories that haunt him. Will Bella help him break out of the walls he protects himself with?
1. Chapter 1

January 18 started out just like any other day. Edward was waiting outside of school until the last possible second before school started. He had no need to socialize and talking to people just made things... complicated for him.

Hearing the warning bell ring, he threw the hood of his jacket over his hair, shadowing the side of his face he desperately wanted to hide from everyone. He then slowly began walking to the front doors.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see an old, rusty truck approaching. He paused for a moment, not recognizing the car or the passenger. In his surprise, this person chose to park in the part of the parking lot that was the most dangerous due to the black ice often found there.

Cursing to himself he glanced at the school doors and to the girl climbing out of her truck. He just had a feeling that she had no idea that she was about to walk straight across ice that would undoubtedly cause her to fall on her face. Why wasn't anyone around?

Making a decision that he would remember for the rest of his life, he shuffled over to her. Realizing that he wouldn't make it to her in time to tell her to avoid the black ice, he called out to her.

In horror, he watched her whip around and begin to fall. With speed he did not believe his legs were currently capable of, he caught her right before she hit the icy ground.

Breathless, she stared up at him, but his face was disguised by the shadows of his hoodie.

It took them a moment to release each other from the very awkward embrace.

The girl was bright red, obviously embarrassed and Edward was certain that she had seen his limp or his face he was desperately trying to hide.

In an attempt to distract her he decided to deflect, gruffly barking out "you know, you shouldn't park here. it's not safe."

Bella, stunned by his tone tried to catch his eyes, but saw that he was purposefully avoiding eye contact, slinking back into the shadows of his hoodie.

"Oh. Ummm... well..." she stammered.

Edward desperately wanted to run his fingers through his hair in vexation, but then he would reveal his face to her. Unable to form words he mumbled "new here?" Realizing that his stammering wasn't a complete sentence, he decided to try again, this time leading her slowly to the front doors "I mean, you must be new. There's black ice there. You shouldn't, well you just, I mean I'm Edward, sorry, but yeah..."

Bella flustered by both his anxious behavior and by the fact that he hadn't let go of her arm yet began walking with him very slowly to the front doors. She looked confusedly down at his leg which was shuffling at an odd angle. Not realizing that he was favoring his leg due to his pronounced limp she tried to lessen the tension through a joke "I AM new and my name is Bella. Also, I would say you're a little overly concerned with falling there Edward, what with your shuffling. I think we're in the clear now"

Edward dropped her arm suddenly and Bella's heart dropped. If anything, the tension increased tenfold. Edward had never been more mortified and Bella had never been more confused.

The final bell had rang and to Edward's eternal gratitude, Alice appeared at that very moment. "Edward! I see you've met, well you must be Bella, right?"

Bella couldn't help but be thankful that Alice interrupted the most baffling exchange she'd ever had with a person who she still could not fully see. In a daze, Alice pulled Bella along, chattering on about her first day at Forks High and how they were going to be the very best of friends.

Edward stared after them blankly, debating whether or not going to class today was worth the hassle. Deciding that he couldn't let Esme or Carlisle down after all they had done for him, he slowly shuffled his way to his first class of the day.

He knew that no one would count him tardy, No one ever made a big deal when the deformed cripple of the school took longer than the others to get to class.


	2. Chapter 2

Alice was a whirlwind of information, but her positivity was absolutely infectious. Still reeling from her encounter with the mysterious Edward, Bella tried her best to pay attention to Alice's words but her mind kept wandering.

When Alice asked if she had any questions so far, all Bella could think about was Edward. Deciding to be brave, she pounced on Alice for more information. It seems like she knew him, at the very least.

Summoning up her courage she asked "Alice, what's the deal with Edward?"

For the first time in the half an hour they had taken from first period to go over her schedule and classes, Alice's smile dropped.

Staring at Bella strangely she asked "What do you mean by that?" in almost a defensive tone. Taken aback, Bella began to get flustered. "It's.. he just.. and I... well he appeared... I just... he seems mysterious?"

Alice's smile came back then, though it was certainly not as bright. "Mysterious.." she said slowly. They sat in silence while Alice weighed her words carefully.

"Bella, Edward is...well it's complicated... Edward just..." At that moment, calamity struck. The first period bell rang and all of a sudden, Bella and Alice were surrounded by curious students who were anxious to see the new student. The school was so small that a new student was breaking news, especially one that came in the middle of the year.

Alice had told her that while it was ok to miss first period on her first day, she would have to go to her next class. Unfortunately, Alice did not have Spanish so Bella was forced to go to Spanish with someone named Mike who was extremely eager to get to know her (and not in a cute, Alice is so sweet, kind of way either). In all honesty, Mike was already getting on her nerves.

The rest of the morning flew by and Bella couldn't help but be disappointed that she hadn't seen or heard anything about Edward. She felt awkward bringing him up to Mike out of the blue, since Mike had clung to her like a second skin all morning.

Walking into Biology, Bella greeted the teacher, Mr. Banner who explained that he assigned seats and lab partners. Mike actually had the nerve to put his arm around Bella's shoulder and volunteer himself to be her lab partner. Shaking off his arm, Bella pleadingly looked at Mr. Banner to save her from having to be Mike's lab partner. Luckily, Mr. Banner informed Mike that he already had a lab partner, Tyler.

The next words out of his mouth caused an uproar in the class, though Bella could not understand why. "Thank you Mike, but Bella will be partners with Edward."

Bella's heart fluttered to life and her eyes darted around the room, looking for the mysterious Edward she had been seeking all morning. Edward's hood was up over his face again but she could see him sitting all alone in the back of the class.

Mike gasped, seemingly horrified. "What are you talking about? Masen? Seriously? Scare the girl away on her first day, why don't you?" A similar chorus of outrage rang out and Bella stood there absolutely stunned. Deciding to be brave she stated firmly, while staring at Edward who was currently crouched over a notebook "I would love nothing more than to be Edward's lab partner, thank you Mr. Banner."

The look on Mike's face was a kodak moment if there ever was one. Bella smirked to herself and happily walked back to where Edward was sitting.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward had always used art to escape the world in which he found himself in.

Abandoned by his abusive, alcoholic father when he was 8, his mother dated loser after loser, the worst of all being James. Edward couldn't help but shudder when he thought of him. It was always a mixed bag of emotions when he thought about what James brought to his life. James had a son, Jasper, and without Jasper, Edward would have never met the Cullens. He would have continued to live in a cycle of abuse.

Taking out his black pencil and paper, Edward started sketching the classroom. Part of his therapy was working on staying in the here and now. Drawing was the best way of requiring him to stay focused on the present, not thinking through the flashbacks of his past.

Trying to stay in the moment, he listened as the overly-eager Mike Newton make a big show of walking in the classroom with... her.

Edward glanced up and broke his pencil staring at Bella, the girl who had been on his mind all morning. From underneath the hood of his sweatshirt, he clenched his jaw when he saw Mike comfortably place his arm around Bella. Edward couldn't help but be annoyed. He felt a flash of jealousy so strong that he could feel the pencil bending with the force he was grasping it with.

His confusing anger subsided somewhat when he saw Bella calmly shake off his arm. At that moment, Edward wished he had brought his colored pencils with him, as the shade of her cheeks in her frustration (though he didn't know why she was looking so upset) was beyond words. In his mind, it was simple. As an artist he could see that she was stunningly beautiful. But beyond that, he was blown away by the pull he felt towards her.

The class seemed to pivot and stare at him for some reason, though he could not determine why as he was having an epiphany while wishing he had more time to draw Bella in her ferocity. In horror, he realized that Bella, Mr. Banner, and Mike were all headed back to his coveted lab station. Edward shrunk in on himself, trying to make himself appear smaller.

Edward finally understood what was going on. Mr. Banner was insisting that Bella be his lab partner. Not only that, Mr. Banner proceeded to ask Edward to pull his hood down.

In a mixture of horror, embarrassment, and despondency, Edward pulled it down and stared blankly at Bella who was smiling brightly at him. To her credit, the sight of the side of his face that was marred by scars that never fully healed didn't even cause her smile to falter.

Mike, snickering with the rest of the class was told firmly by Mr. Banner to go back to his seat. Bella firmly told Mike to buzz off (in kinder words, of course), stunning Edward beyond belief. He couldn't help but gape at her as he couldn't remember the last person who stood up for him outside of his adopted family.

Rolling his eyes at Bella and mumbling something along the lines of "your loss," Mike walked to his seat.

Mr. Banner leaned in, almost touching Edward's shoulder which caused him to flinch away violently. Mr. Banner, correcting himself asked if Edward would be ok with the new seating arrangement. "Kind of late for that question now, isn't it Banner?" he thought to himself.

Bella, with confidence she didn't know she had within her said loudly, for the whole class to hear "Edward actually saved me from falling this morning, I'm sure we'll make great partners."

Silence descended upon the classroom. Edward was floored and Mr. Banner's smile rivaled the sun. "Excellent. Well then class, let's get started!"

Edward continued to stare unabashedly at Bella's beautiful, unperturbed face as she took her seat. She smiled at him with her deep chocolate eyes penetrating his soul with their warmth. Edward did something he felt like he hadn't done in ages.

He smiled back.


	4. Chapter 4

Bella didn't want to lie, Edward's face was shocking, but not in the way you might think.

He was simply devastatingly handsome. He had a square jaw that was the definition of manly. His piercing green eyes held secrets, sadness, and a small glimmer of hope that she couldn't help but wish she could increase. He was beautiful.

That's not to say that his scars weren't intimidating. In what looked like burns mixed with slashes from deep cuts, the left side of his face was clearly marred. The look he gave her when his face was finally revealed to her was not only one of sadness, but of deep shame.

She could see that he was expecting her to run away screaming or to mock him, or do something just as terrible but all Bella could do was smile warmly at him. For some reason, she felt that he was giving her a reason to be here in Forks. She didn't know why and she couldn't even tell someone who asked her straight away, but something about him was connecting her to a higher purpose than even she could understand.

He gazed at her in wonder as she agree to be his partner. When she smiled at him she could see his eyes questioning and then processing her kindness. He smiled back with his scars making his smile a little crooked, as their tentative friendship was cemented.


	5. Chapter 5

Throughout class, Bella couldn't help herself from glancing over at Edward. He really was incredibly handsome. She could see that he was furiously drawing something and this peaked Bella's curiosity. She wondered what caused his scars and if she would ever have the nerve to ask him. She could barely process anything Mr. Banner was saying, as she was so lost in thought. Before she knew it, the bell rang and she glanced over at Edward who was, to her surprise staring back at her.

Lunch was the next period and Bella, promising herself to be brave, asked him if he could show her where the cafeteria was. Though Bella already knew where it was, as the school was incredibly small, she couldn't help but try to get more time with him and hopefully sit with him at lunch. There was so much about him that drew her in.

Before he could answer, Jessica came up to her, exclaiming that Bella had promised they would sit together at lunch. Though Bella could not remember making such a promise, she didn't want to be rude to someone who so enthusiastically wanted to be her friend. Edward shot her a shy smile before pulling up his hood, disappearing again into the darkness, as Jessica pulled her, somewhat forcefully out of the classroom and to the cafeteria.

Still dazed, Bella tuned back into Jessica's chatter which she had been noncommittally agreeing to. To her horror, Jessica was congratulating herself from saving Bella from the certain humiliation of associating herself with Edward. Bella couldn't help but reply with what she thought anyone would interpret as extreme sarcasm "wow. thank you Jessica, I mean I was truly terrified. I simply have no idea what I would do without you." Rolling her eyes she pivoted, bumping directly into Alice whose facial expression could melt stone with its ferocity.

Bella's heart dropped. Surely Alice wouldn't think that Bella would actually be talking about anyone like that, much less Edward, right? They'd known each other for less than a full day, but her sarcasm was clear, at least she thought to herself. Alice's face was one of pure outrage. "I really thought you were different Bella. What a shame. I was going to invite you to sit with us today, but I see you've decided to seek friendship out elsewhere."

Before Bella could stop her, Alice almost sprinted away. Horrified by the turn of events, Bella could only stare after her with tears prickling her eyes. "No..I..." She turned back to Jessica who was staring at her in amusement. "Thank god you dodged that bullet. Alice is truly crazy. She's in a bizarre love triangle with Jasper, her fake boyfriend, and Edward. Honestly, it's best for you if you just stay away."

But Bella couldn't stay away. She was shy, but she certainly wasn't meek. "Excuse me Jessica, but I really don't have anything to say to you. I need to clear things up with Alice. I was being sarcastic. Alice and Edward have been nothing but kind to me and honestly, I could do without the small town gossip. Thanks for the offer of friendship, but no thank you." Leaving a stunned Jessica, Bella raced after Alice.

Alice was in the embrace of a very tall and willowy boy when Bella was able to catch up to her. Bella would usually leave people in what looked like an intimate embrace, but she couldn't let Alice believe that she was the kind of person who would be so cold and rude to people who had shown her such genuine kindness. "Alice... please, you have to listen to me. I was being sarcastic.. I would NEVER say anything like that... you've been so kind to me and I want to be friends, I promise. I don't care what Jessica says...I.." Bella was mortified as she could feel the lump in her throat growing. As Alice turned from Jasper's embrace, Bella's heart sank to the floor as it became clear that Alice had started to cry. "Oh Bella, I am so glad to hear that. You have no idea what Edward has been through. I couldn't stand you trying to hurt him... He's in such a..."

Bella had to interrupt her. She knew that in order to build a friendship with Edward, which was now becoming a clear goal to her, she would have to learn about his past in their own time. She didn't want to hear rumors or second-hand stories. She wanted to learn from Edward herself. She had no idea why, but she was going with her gut on this one.

"Alice, please don't say anything else. I desperately want to be Edward's friend for reasons I don't fully understand, but in order to do that, I need to hear these things from him I think."

Alice hugged Bella with strength that Bella was surprised she could possess for being such a tiny person. Whispering in her ear Alice said "I knew you were different. You're going to be so good for him."

Bella, surprised already by the depth of her feelings couldn't help but agree. She had a feeling that she would be exactly what Edward needed. For the first time in her life, Bella was gong to follow her heart.


	6. Chapter 6

Edward made his way slowly to the back of the cafeteria, annoyed that the cold weather seemed to be making his limp more pronounced.

Sitting slowly, he pulled out his lunch from his backpack, glancing up to see what was taking Jasper and Alice so long to get to their table. Usually, he was the last to arrive causing whispers, pointing, and staring as he made his way to eat his lunch. You'd think by now the entire school would be accustomed to his disabilities and grotesque appearance, but apparently the very sight of him caused hushed comments.

His heart nearly stopped when he saw that Bella was with Jasper and Alice. They were also headed directly to the table. Edward bit back a groan. He couldn't help but worry about Bella's reputation. Sure, Alice meant well but she had to know that sitting at their table was a social death sentence.

Forcing back a grimace, he stood abruptly as they approached him. Wanting to be a gentleman his adoptive parents had taught him to be, he stood up as quickly as he could to pull out a chair for Bella. Smirking at him, Jasper sat directly across from him, whispering something quietly in Alice's ears, causing her to giggle and wink at Edward.

Glancing at Bella, Edward could almost feel the heat of her blush. Quietly she thanked him and the next minute was filled with Alice's inane chatter about classes and future plans she had made with Bella, seemingly without her knowledge.

Edward made an effort to observe his surroundings and could see Mike and Jessica gaping at their seating arrangement. Surely this one event would keep the gossip mongers riled up for ages. He couldn't help but hang his head in defeat. As much as he loved being in the presence of Bella, he couldn't help but mourn the loss of friendship he could imagine happening when she heard the real reason why he was so disfigured and a social reject.

However selfishly he felt, Edward held on to the hope that Bella would hear him out first, before the wolves descended upon her, sealing the fate of their tentative friendship.


	7. Chapter 7

Sitting next to Edward was so strange to Bella. She was enthralled by his mere presence and she couldn't fathom why. He was a mystery she was dying to unravel, not because of his obvious physical wounds, but because of his kindness and respect he had shown her in the short time they had known each other.

Bella was taken aback when Edward helped her into her chair at lunch. Raised by a flighty mother and a distant father, she had never had someone show care for her in such a way. Though it was old-fashioned, it was a small view into who Edward was, in Bella's humble opinion.

"Now I'm really taking things too far. He was just being a gentleman" Bella thought begrudgingly to herself. She couldn't help but hope, however, that Edward was feeling the same pull she was to him.

All too quickly lunch was over. Bella had affirmed all of the plans Alice came up with, realizing that she quite liked Alice's warm enthusiasm for life, though it so vastly contrasted her moderate temperament. Alice skipped happily away from them, pulling Jasper with her quickly but not before shooting Bella a sly smile as she went.

Before Edward could shuffle away, Bella placed her hand softly on Edward's arm who, to her horror, flinched violently away from her.

"Oh...I'm sorry Edward...I just..." she stammered.

She could tell that Edward was embarrassed and clearly unused to physical touch. What she didn't know was that Edward was so used to violence that her warm hand on his arm was like an electric shock to his system.

"No... it's fine I was just..." he cleared his throat "distracted." Bella smiled brightly at him, seemingly unperturbed by his strange reaction.

"Will you be going to Alice's tonight for movie night?" Bella asked him sweetly, trying in vain to catch his eyes which currently seemed glued to the floor and lost under his two-sizes-too-large hoodie.

"Kind of unavoidable since it's at my house..." Edward.

"Wait... so movie night is at your house? So you and Alice are..." Bella asked in confusion.

"Umm... it's complicated. Foster siblings, kind of? I mean we have the same..." Edward mumbled so quietly that Bella had a hard time hearing him.

Realizing that he was reluctant to share more information Bella stopped him "I see. Oh well I'm so glad I get to see you tonight. I mean it should be fun seeing you. Shit, I mean shoot, umm I'm sorry I just..." Bella grimaced at her word vomit. She might as well declared her obsession with him straight away.

Edward chuckled, a rare sound coming from his lips. "Bella, I'm excited to see you too" he murmured.

"Right so, tonight then?" Bella asked in high-pitched, anxiety-ridden question.

"Yes Bella, tonight."


End file.
